*Friday, 27th March 2009*
Dear Janvier,
I don't really know how to tell you this, Our affair is over. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg Under the bus and I saw you Carve your initials into My boyfriend. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That I may pee my pants. I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard and You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Go milk a cow,
Hyperion
Ahem.... :P
Here's how you do it :
Dear (Someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
your name
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself.
Dear Janvier
Throwing Stuff In My Dreams
*Friday, 20th March 2009*
I had a weird and disturbing dream last night.
If you're a third-person shooting gamer, you might understand this better. The scene is like you're looking from a third party perspective.
I was sitting at a porch, facing the main gate. A dog, golden hair and unknown name was lying down on the floor, sleeping... further away from me. Then suddenly, a big piece of brownish red stuff flew into the porch and landed a few meters from me. I look at it and realised it was a piece of meat.
And just when I bend down and take that piece of meat, a guy with dark skin, curly short hair and angry face (resembles a Negro) climbed the fence and jumped in. At that moment, I spontaneously threw that meat at him, which caused him to mutter a few lines of speech in an unfamiliar language. At the same time, the dog awakes and charge at him but couldn't get him as the neck chain pulls it back.
That guy surprisingly, doesn't seem afraid of the dog. While continue to babble and scold in the foreign language, he threw the meat back to me. I evades and threw some of the items nearest to me, back at him (now you know why it feels like I'm playing a shooting game at this point), while the dog continues to bark and tried to charge at him.
That's when I woke up and realised it was just 3.30am. The image of that guy's face continues to linger in my head, so I got up and grabbed myself a glass of water before hitting the pillow again.
Call me racist but I think I'll avoid any possible encounter with a Negro from now on...
Be Back Soon
*Thursday, 19th March 2009*
Finally got to recharge my camera batteries (charger left at home in Ipoh previously)... so pictures and new post will be up soon.
Gym Bunny, Gym
*Thursday, 12nd March 2009*
Me: It's raining heavily, you still wanna continue?
BunnyBan: I'm around the area, might as well go for it. Are you ok?
Me: Sure. See you at 7 then.
An so, Bunny made his way to FF Axis yesterday. He's been saying things like wanna bulk up, eliminate the ever-growing belly and improving his stamina... hence I recommend that he pays FF a visit since I have free guest passes.
Initial plan was to introduce him to B.Jam but upon showing the receptionist his guest pass, a sales consultant was assigned to him and you know... all those sales talk... Ergh. He didn't agreed to join on the spot as he wanted to try out the GX programmes, so we went for B.Pump instead. Which was a good choice I think as he mentioned that he gets dizzy easily in any sort of aerobics/cardio exercise.
But after the third/fourth track, I saw him started to breathe heavily and he gave me hint that his head's spinning. I asked him to leave the studio, grab a drink and take a break but he insist on going for the next tracks after a short break.
So, yeah... he completed the whole B.Pump class on his first attempt. We then rested a while for him to catch his breath before shower and adjourned for late dinner at Sunway.
